Why I’ll Forget to Text You Back but Always Save You a Seat at My Table
Why I host
I have 13 unread text messages - at least half of them are important, not because they necessarily need a quick response (although I am sure some do) but because they are from people I love, my best friends and family. But will I actually respond? Honestly, I’m not sure. It’s not that I don’t care, but I often forget, lose track of time, or feel too drained to string the right words together.
The truth is, I’m a terrible texter. I’m not great at keeping in touch, and I rarely pick up the phone to call a friend just to check in or chat. (Although, I’m trying to get better at that.) And here’s the paradox: maintaining deeply connected relationships—old and new—is one of the things I value most in this world.
I thrive on connection. It’s my lifeblood. But it’s not just any connection—it has to be meaningful. I’m talking about the kind of connection where you feel truly seen and heard, where you can set aside the surface-level pleasantries and dive into something real. That’s the kind of interaction that lights me up and gives me energy. But creating those moments takes effort. It requires the right mindset and the right environment. It takes intention.
Here’s another confession: I’m not always the best listener. Too often, I get caught up in my own thoughts, stuck in my head, preoccupied with what’s next. I’m working on being present—actively listening and staying engaged. And I’ve learned that I connect most deeply when I feel at ease, when I’m my most authentic self, when I’m literally and figuratively at home.
So, what does that have to do with hosting a dinner party? For me, everything.
Hosting is my love language. It’s my way of carving out the kind of connection I crave. It’s how I bring people together and create the space for relationships to flourish. Around my table, I can give my full attention to the people I love—no distractions, no half-hearted replies. Just real, meaningful moments.
There’s something magical about the intimacy of home. It’s one of the most personal spaces we can share with others, the perfect setting to forge deeper connections. When I host, I get to shape the experience: the lighting, the music, the food, the mood. I can design an environment where conversation flows, where people feel comfortable enough to open up, and where (hopefully) everyone leaves feeling a little more seen. I might not text you back, but I will give you my full attention when you sit across from me at the dinner table.
Hosting isn’t just about serving a meal; it’s about creating an experience. And while I often write about tips for entertaining, the most important advice I can give is this: know your why. When you understand your purpose for gathering, you can ensure every detail—from the playlist to the candles—aligns harmoniously with the intended experience.
These days, hosting seems to be having a resurgence. (Or maybe that’s just my Instagram algorithm?) Dinner parties are everywhere, with whimsical tablescapes and artful decor. But at its heart, hosting isn’t about the decor. It’s about connection. We’re all craving it, whether we realize it or not.
While the decor is not the point of hosting, it is also not superfluous. On my tables, the decor tells a story; each piece is a little bit of me. Designing a tablescape is a way in which I express myself. It is integral to creating an environment that allows me to feel seen. My tables are often a mix of pieces I designed or sourced with pieces made by artists or friends. Collecting tabletop items transcends the mere acquisition of objects; it is a celebration of community and a tool for meaningful connection.
So, that’s my why: to nurture relationships, deepen bonds, and create the moments that linger long after the plates are cleared.
Why do you host?
Explore a selection of artful pieces for your table at LES
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