My Thoughts On The Martha Stewart Documentary
To live perfectly or to live well?
WHAT A WOMAN:
Martha Stewart is a woman with good taste and creativity who built an incredible empire around the concept of living. Her story is complex. She is (or has been labeled) powerful, perfect, a homemaker, a career woman, a visionary, a bitch, unstable, cold, a shark, a victim, and a bully. In short, she is an exceptional woman with plenty of flaws. Human.
MARTHA'S STORY IS ABOUT THE POWER AND HOME:
"The dreams and the fears into which Martha Stewart taps are not of "feminine" domesticity but of female power, of the woman who sits down at the table with the men and, still in her apron, walks away with the chips."
-      The Promises Martha Stewart Made – And Why We Wanted To Believe them" by Joan Didion, New Yorker, 2000
I feel connected to Martha's idea of limitless living and that beauty and perfection can be powerful. When Martha was building her empire, she resonated with women who didn't want to be housewives, who wanted a career but still retained a connection to the home. This also deeply resonated with my own experience as a woman, a wife, a mother, a "homemaker," and a creative founder.
I am both deeply drawn to and repelled by the idea of homemaking. I find joy in many acts, incorporating beauty into every aspect of my life. I spend endless energy meticulously creating a beautiful and authentic environment at home. I love to set the table, to host dinners, and to open my home to friends and family. I also am deeply uncomfortable with the term "housewife" or "homemaker." Those terms bring up gendered stereotypes and a sense of powerlessness that I have always run from. I admire Martha because she imbued homemaking with a sense of power. She shows women that ambition and intelligence can go hand in hand with making our lives beautiful.
MARTHA'S STORY TRIGGERED THE PERFECTIONIST IN ME
"She seems perfect, but she's not. She's obsessed. She's frantic. She's a control freak beyond my wildest dreams. And that shows me two things: A) no one is perfect and B) there is a price for everything."
-      An excerpt from "My Martha Stewart Page" from The Promises Martha Stewart Made – And Why We Wanted To Believe them" by Joan Didion, New Yorker, 2000
I have deeply ambiguous feelings about perfectionism, and watching this documentary triggered two competing sentiments: wanting to double down or turn away completely. There is a difference between living perfectly and living well. For me, living well does involve some level of perfectionism. High standards are important to me. Sometimes, my perfectionism is an asset; in others, it is a burden. Living well involves balance. In my mind, I hold the things I value most in life – family, love, connection, and joy. I don't believe in lowering my standards to make way for these things, but I do believe in flexibility and a porous boundary between perfect and good enough. I never want perfectionism to come at the expense of what I value most.
I do not want to be Martha Stewart. Every woman with ambition has to decide what they are willing to give up to meet their goals. Life is a series of trade-offs. I get the sense that Martha knew what she was giving up and made those choices anyway. Living well is about moving through the world with purpose and self-awareness. Making conscious decisions about how to live. Knowing what you are willing to sacrifice and what you are not for the sake of ambition, success, and perfectionism.
The documentary ends with Martha's closing remarks about imperfection being something she can deal with now. The remarks fell flat. She didn't state them with purpose and power. It left me yearning for a more profound truth, whether she was trying to embrace a more flexible approach to better her life or saying what she thought people would want to hear. Did she regret her choices? How would she live if she had to do it again?
SOME ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS –
I want to start a garden. After finishing the documentary, I may have immediately planned a vegetable and herb garden into our lake house landscaping plans.
I am a little less afraid of aging
I was not that interested in the prison part
What is the responsibility of content creators in relation to making people feel bad about themselves and their lives? (I think this is a topic for another Substack)
And now for an LES plug:
I suggest our Ribbon Dinnerware Collection for when you channel your inner Martha.