The Secret to Stress-Free Entertaining

Hosting reflections, real-life lessons, and a late summer menu you’ll want to borrow

Last weekend, I hosted one of those dinner parties that felt like a scene from a movie, although maybe not the elegant Nancy Meyers kind, more like a slapstick comedy. Or at least that is how it felt in my head.

It was a pizza and outdoor movie night for friends and family to get everyone together before the end of the summer. About half kids, half adults. Easy, right? Except that the start time changed three times (because no one can commit to a schedule in August), and when the guests actually arrived, I was still in my bathing suit, damp from the lake after cleaning goose poop off a float at the kids' request. Very glamorous.

The only photo I got from Pizza-and-movie night. I asked a friend to take it because I was blissfully phone/camera free

The table wasn't set. I didn't even have a scheme in mind (I usually plan ahead). Luckily, I have a binder. Yes, an actual three-ring binder filled with every dish, flatware set, linen, and placemat (including quantities), and pages of photos on how to mix and match. Definitely Type A, but when chaos strikes, it's the ultimate lifesaver. I commandeered my daughter and my cousin’s kid as a tiny styling crew, and quickly the table looked like something I might've planned all along.

I stayed in my wet bathing suit for longer than I'd like to admit before finally sprinting upstairs for a shower. Ten minutes later, I was barefoot, comfortable in linen pants and a button-down, and ready to play hostess (because it really does feel like play).

The food was outsourced (because feeding that many people from scratch is madness), the kids ran around in their swimsuits, the table wasn't "perfectly" made up, and the movie started later than planned. But it was fun. Really, really fun. There were moments of pure chaos, but it didn't matter. No one cared.

For more on why I host:

The rest of these photos are from a smaller dinner party I hosted with my creative community. Photographer Kelley Shaffer was there to capture it all, and the food was cooked by Chef Kyle Eakins — his late summer menu is included at the end of this story.

Of course, I also love the opposite kind of dinner party. The grown-up kind. The six-to-eight-people-around-a-table kind. The kind where I set the table the night before, plan an outfit, maybe even wear mascara. I love creating a more elaborate tablescape: mixing vintage candlesticks with new glassware, layering linens, and trying out a fresh floral arrangement.

But even then, I embrace imperfection. The serveware doesn’t always match, and dinner might be late, but the magic lies in the atmosphere around the table, the "vibe": warm, welcoming, alive.

Ribbon Dinnerware in Swan, Pewter flatware, hand-blown glassware, and vintage serving pieces

So what actually makes a dinner party work?

Here's what I think matters most, whether you're serving pizza on the porch or a five-course meal inside:

Have a few anchor systems in place. My binder sounds intense, but honestly, having a plan for your tableware (or even just knowing which dishes work with which linens) makes last-minute setups much easier. Your version could be a simple photo album on your phone.

Decide the vibe, not the menu. A casual night of swimsuits and pizza can be just as memorable as a candlelit dinner. Choose how you want guests to feel (cozy, playful, elevated) and let that drive your choices.

Outsource something. Order food, buy dessert, or let a guest bring wine. The host's energy is more important than a homemade pie.

Layer, but don't overthink. When I layer, I like to mix vintage and new, and play with different materials: glass against metal, ceramic beside linen, even stoneware mixed in with porcelain. The less you try to be matchy-matchy, the more collected and effortless the table will look. A little tension between objects makes everything feel more interesting.

Make yourself comfortable. If you're fussing over your outfit, guests will feel it. Linen pants and a button-down are just as chic as a silk dress. It's about how relaxed you feel in them.

Embrace the imperfections. The napkins that don't match, the dinner that runs late, the candle that drips all over the table—these are what make the evening human. Guests feel more at home when everything isn't staged within an inch of its life. Imperfections invite people to exhale, to relax, to stop worrying about their own wrinkled dress or noisy kids, and just enjoy themselves.

Hosting is less about control and more about curation. You set the stage, but the party belongs to everyone in the room. And when you let go of perfection, you often find yourself barefoot in linen pants, laughing around a messy table, realizing that's exactly what you wanted all along.

A Late Summer Table (That transitions into fall):

1. Fish platter with lid 2. Confete Canapé plates 3. French Hand-Painted Pitcher and Glass Set 4. French Hand-Painted Tray 5. Pewter Footed Bowl 6. Ribbon Dinner plate, Swan 7. Ribbon Salad Plates, Swan 8. French Pottery Casserole 9. Pewter Flatware Set 10. Silver Fish Tray

An Early Fall Menu

Now, about the food. For the dinner party in the photos, I teamed up with my friend and frequent collaborator, Chef Kyle Eakins. He has a way of creating menus that feel seasonal, playful, and just a little unexpected.

Of course, I know not everyone is going to hire a chef for their dinner parties (nor should you). These menus aren't meant to be followed to a T. They are sparks to help you get creative. It could be grilling stone fruit, pairing sweet with herbs, or serving family-style so it feels abundant. The point isn't to copy (although you can), it's to be inspired.

Here's the menu he created for early fall, when the garden is overflowing but the first signs of chill are creeping in:

From Kyle:

As the seasons shift, we celebrate the garden’s peak bounty—juicy tomatoes, vibrant peppers, crisp cucumbers, tender zucchini and summer squash, and an abundance of fresh herbs. With a nod to the first butternut squash of the season, this menu highlights simple yet refined Mediterranean flavors where produce takes center stage.

• Toasted Sourdough Focaccia: Topped with roasted cherry tomato jam and Cantabrian white anchovies, balancing sweetness with bright, briny depth.

• Garlic Blue Prawns: Served with a rich shrimp bisque sauce crafted from the shells and heads, finished with a vibrant garden herb oil.

• Butter Lettuce Salad: With Fresh herbs, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, roasted purple peppers, soft-cooked egg, and migas-style croutons, dressed in sherry vinaigrette. A refreshing counterpoint to the richer courses.

• Whole Grilled Mediterranean Turbot: Accompanied by roasted pepper romesco and a steamed mussel pil pil sauce infused with the grilled fish bones and olive oil.

• Roasted Butternut Squash: with grilled grapes, goat cheese, and Marcona almonds—a subtle nod to the approaching fall.

• Summer Squash Arroz a la Plancha: Flat-top griddled crispy rice with zucchini, caramelized onions, and smoked sheep’s milk cheese. Crisp and comforting.

• Basque-Style Burnt Cheesecake: Served with stewed and fresh berries for a sweet, rustic finish.

Kyle provides chef services for events, expert restaurant consulting, and private chef placements for those who want restaurant-quality meals in the comfort of their home. Find him at Allow Us, NYC.

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